yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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