Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
