:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
