you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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