I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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