if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
