meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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