sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
