pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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