I want to have your abortion
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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