Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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