I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
