so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
