Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
