I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
