How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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