Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
