I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
