I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My dick has a subreddit
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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