apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
