ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
