So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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