Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
