just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
