Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
