The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
