I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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