Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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