note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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