Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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