We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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