i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I look better un-naked...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
