Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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