dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
do herpes really smell.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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