areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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