You just made me feel so damn special
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
