so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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