sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I will be naked everywhere
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
