google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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