Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
