How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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