You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
