All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The best revenge is premature balding
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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