it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"