I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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