just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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