I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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