like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
