She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
