Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
BRING THE BAGELS
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
