Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
