so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
