I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
