Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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