So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
