4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
