Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
