No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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