We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
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He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
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You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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