so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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