Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
