Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
